I’m so motha’fuckin’ prideful that it’s hard to admit,
That my life has been a struggle, but I just have to commit,
And when that fuckin’ struggle comes I just hawk up and spit,
Stand my ground, clench my teeth, and take that it’s best hit.
See, I don’t wanna’ be the typical fucked up kid that’s full of hate,
I wanna’ be the fucked up kid that still knows the meaning of ‘elate’,
I wanna’ change lives and be an inspiration,
For all the other kids that relate to this frustration.
I never tell you people all the shit that I’ve been through,
'cause then you give me your pity, like it's gonna' undo..
Anything. But never, no, not by any means.
These emotions and memories will forever fuckin’ reconvene.
So do me a fuckin’ favor, next time you feel like bitchin’,
Stand your stupid ass up and walk to the fuckin’ kitchen,
Turn on the gas stove, step back, wait, spark a match,
And blow your ass off this planet, with some fuckin’ dispatch.
I don’t fuckin’ do drugs, but guess what? I’m intoxicated.
If you could see all the things I’ve created and conjugated.
You’d then see that all these supplements you use are over rated.
It just ruins families and concocts nothing but hatred.
Fuck you if you deny this.
If you could see what I reminisce,
You’d shut the fuck up and take this shit,
There’s no way you could resist, bitch.
I remember when I was a kid, and I watched grown men beat my moms ass.
I remember when she’d come home, bloody, broken and covered in glass.
Man, I’d fuckin’ beg her to stay, then I’d be up late, on my knees to pray.
But can you guess who wasn’t there to come and save the day?
Yeah, I’m not fuckin’ religious,
I think it’s all so much bullshit.
You’re all so goddamn pretentious,
I just wanna’ use a full clip..
Of an AK-47,
To send you to this ‘heaven’,
That you think that you can dwell in,
But you’re really just stuck in dead skin.
Alight, he’s done, my conscious is getting bored.
But he’ll never stay away, he’s living in my core.
So I apologize in advance if I offend you anymore,
But I’m just a fucking prisoner of this stupid mental war.
Liking this girl, man, what the fuck was I thinking?
And now I have to find a way to forget all about these feelings.
But what you don’t understand is it’s really not that easy.
'cause you make forgetting some one look so motha'fuckin' breezy.
I need to stop being a stupid faggot with this frown on my face,
When I should of had my emotions in check in the first place.
I just wish people here appreciated me, but very few do.
I mean, I wanna’ feel wanted, special and chased sometimes to.
Man, fuck all that shit, I like being alone.
Me, myself and I. All I need’s a fuckin’ clone.
A chained up slave, just for when I want some dome.
Shit.. I’d never leave this place that people call ‘home’.
I don’t even give a fuck anymore, dude.
I like doing whatever I wanna’ do.
Not worrying about some female that I have to try and please,
Because in my motha’fuckin’ world, it’s always all about me.
I’m lying, I miss it. I think.
Nah, I do.
Ha, really, Zachary?
Dumb ass nigga’.
Talking to myself in my fuckin’ head again,
Because my conscious is at war with its evil twin.
Fighting about how I feel like no one understands me,
Trynna’ stop myself from committing suicide in front of my family.
See, what you don’t understand is that I’m just some empty skin,
With this crazy ass mind set that would make any nigga’ grin.
Full of love and hate, I don’t know which way to go,
So I have to just sit back and learn how to sew..
Up that patches,
From self inflicted scratches,
Whips lashes and thrashes,
And burn mark from matches.
I know I’m not evil, I’m a good guy, I promise,
I just can’t help it when I lose control to my conscious.
And then flaunt it.. like it’s somethin’ to be proud of.
But it’s not me, I have no control from above.
And when I say above, it’s because I can only fuckin’ watch,
Watch as my mother hits me harder after every drink of Scotch.
Because my soul escapes my body and looks and looks for safety..
And you wonder why I always feel like I’m so..